The Truth About Togetherness
We live in a culture where isolation is becoming more normalized, especially when it comes to faith and spiritual practice. But when we look at Scripture and even recent data, we see a clear call and need to return to true, in-person togetherness. It's not just about physical presence. It's about spiritual formation.
I spent some time reviewing recent statistics around church attendance and what it says about how we gather. Here’s what stood out.
Only about 30 to 33 percent of U.S. adults attend a religious service—online or in person—once a month. Weekly attendance is even lower, sitting around 20 percent. Interestingly, Gen Z and millennials are beginning to outpace older generations in monthly participation. Gen Z attends about 1.9 times a month, and millennials about 1.8, compared to 1.6 for older adults. Those aged 65 and up still tend to hold weekly attendance as the norm, while younger generations follow different patterns.
The pandemic shifted things even further. Attendance dropped significantly, and while younger generations are starting to return, the overall numbers have not bounced back to pre-pandemic levels—and even then, the numbers weren’t ideal.
Among Protestants, around 30 percent attend weekly and 13 percent monthly. For Catholics, it's about 23 percent weekly and 17 percent monthly. Among Muslims, 28 percent attend weekly and 17 percent monthly. Many pastors now consider two times per month as “regular attendance,” reflecting a real shift away from what used to be considered normal.
So, what does this all mean?
It shows that as a culture, we’re continuing to devalue the biblical importance of gathering together. But Scripture speaks clearly on this. There is a high regard in the Bible for the gathering of ourselves together. And when we gather the right way, when we love one another with the love of Jesus, there’s so much life and encouragement that flows from it.
But let’s be honest. That togetherness loses its power when bitterness, grudges, or cliques begin to define our experience. If we only look out for our small circle, or fail to apologize when we’ve hurt someone, we miss the point. We’re all guilty of this in some way. But when it comes to your spiritual growth, here’s the bottom line:
You need togetherness.
You were wired for it. We were created to gather. To worship together. To serve together. To give to one another. And when we lose that, something breaks down in our spiritual engine.
When Technology Replaces Community
Technology has given us powerful tools: YouTube, live streams, podcasts. These things are helpful, but when they begin to replace physical gathering, they can become deceptively harmful.
We must ask ourselves: What’s filling the time slot that was meant for gathering? What’s replacing deep, meaningful connection with God's people?
You've probably heard me say it before, but I’ll keep saying it: You were hardwired to connect with others. Relationship isn’t optional in the Kingdom of God; it’s essential. There’s a biblical foundation for this.
At our Duncan location, we recently hosted a B1 Make 1 event, where we focused deeply on the idea of relationship. Why does it matter so much?
Look back at Genesis 2:18. God looks at everything He created and says, "It’s good." But then in verse 18, He says, "It is not good for the man to be alone." From the very beginning, God designed us for relationship.
When the Ten Commandments are given in Exodus 20, the structure reveals something powerful. The first four commandments are about our relationship with God. The last six are about our relationship with others. The entire law is relational at its core.
Throughout the Old Testament, we see a constant push and pull between God and His people. He pursues them, calls them back, and they continually waver, trusting Him, then rejecting Him, then returning. It’s a portrait of relationship in tension. Then Jesus steps in.
He came for one purpose: to restore the broken relationship between humanity and God caused by sin. At the end of Matthew 1, Jesus declares that He is the connection between heaven and earth. In John 14:6, He says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Jesus came to heal relationship.
In Galatians 5, Paul lays out the fruit of the Spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. None of these can be practiced in isolation. Every one of them requires relationship. That’s why you were formed. That’s how you grow.
It Matters Who You Gather With
It’s not just about gathering. It’s about who you gather with.
If the people you regularly surround yourself with aren't pulling you deeper into faith and maturity in Christ, it may be time to reevaluate your circle. If conversations in your group focus on criticism or gossip, especially within the context of the Church, then those relationships aren’t forming Christ-centered unity. They’re doing the opposite.
That doesn’t mean walking away. It means doing the hard work of fighting for authentic, healthy, Christ-centered relationship. We were made for this. We were made to be Jesus’s Church; gathered, unified, worshiping, learning, and serving together.
Look at Acts 2. The early believers devoted themselves to worshiping together, sharing meals, receiving teaching, and praising God. And what happened next?
God added to their number daily.
When the Church gathers the way God intends, He entrusts us with more people to steward. Why? Because at that point, He sees that we can be trusted with His children.
Don’t Neglect the Power of Gathering
Gathering is not just a good idea. It’s a critical part of your pursuit of Christ. It strengthens your faith, challenges your character, and reinforces your identity in the family of God.
So ask yourself: Am I prioritizing relationships that help me grow? Am I fighting for community that reflects Christ? Am I allowing convenience, technology, or apathy to replace what God clearly says I need?
We weren’t made to follow Jesus alone. We were made for togetherness.
